The New York City Marathon

 The Start

I awoke about 5:00am and was happy to know that I had slept about 5 hours. I had struggled to get to sleep the night before which I am told is common for a runner before a marathon. As I departed my hotel on Sunday, Nov. 1st it never occured to me how pivitol this moment was in my life but I could sense that this day was big. Maybe it was not so much the day but the decision that I had made months ago when I joined the National Stroke Association team to complete a marathon. I had surpassed my fundraising goals but still wanted to get to $10,000.00 and was already planning how I could achieve that goal after the race. And I was thinking about how could I turn this energy into education about stroke. But first I must finish the marathon! Everyone told me to celabrate achieving the goal of training but those who know me well could not imagine that I would be thinking of anything else but completing it!

It was 7:00am and dry outside but a bit windy as I climbed into the NY taxi with Annalise(a National Stroke Association staff member) and my husband, David. As our taxi turned down 5th Avenue to begin our journey to the Staten Island Ferry, I was stunned to see the number of buses on the road to transport some of the 43,000 marathoners to the start! As a runner, the NY marathon assigned you either to a bus or the ferry for transportation to the start. It was an amazing site to see buses lined up as far as the eye can see. We were soon at our transportation assignment-the Staten Island Ferry and I had a tearful goodbye to David as only runners where allowed to go to the start line. Any time I face anything emotional since the stroke than the tears just start flowing and I knew how much he had supported me and we were finally here! He handed me a handwritten note to read once I was on the ferry and we parted ways. I knew we were both a bit nervous if this was the best idea for me medically. Annalise and I merged into the endless line of passengers as David went to find a subway to support me at about the 4 mile mark and explore Brooklyn where had spent some summers with is aunts as a child.

Once aboard the ferry we found a seat and I nervously checked my gear. We chatted with a runner from Houston and heard about his company that was raising money by running for a charity too. Other runners paced the floor and took a moment to step outside to take a photo of Manhatten and we watched as the buildings becoming smaller as the ferry pulled away from the dock. I thought the next time that I visit Manhatten that it will be on foot or at least I hoped so!! And I was drifting farther and farther away from it. Upon arrival at Staten Island, we all walked uniformily to board buses tthat would transport us to the entry of the Wadsworth Fort where we could see the Verrazono-Narrows bridge looming above us and thousands of runners anxiously preparing for the start of the run. We were prepared for a long wait at Fort Wadsworth with our emergency blankets, old clothing and rain gear but there was no time so spare as we had to quickly organize our gear, check our baggage, use the bathrooms, and grab a quick bite to eat and drink. We had a laugh when Annalise opened the porta-potty door on a fellow runner which eased the tension of the morning! Before we knew it, we were being called to the start too. Annalise put on her garbage bag due to the rumor of folks urinating on runners on the lower deck of the bridge as we gathered with all of the runners. And I had on my raincoat and we were ready for any actions! We were packed into a narrow entry with runners all sharing stories and nervously exchanging information about the route, training, etc. and I felt as though it was not really happening...could we really be starting to run a marathon!! We cheered the 2nd wave group of about 14,000 runners as the started over the bridge and within 20 minutes we followed in their footsteps. Bang! Off went the start gun and we crossed the start line. I tossed my green pullover to the attendee collecting clothing and said "Goodbye to Stroke".


Staten Island-Verrazano Bridge and Brooklyn.

I stayed with Annalise for about 10 minutes as we climbed the first mile onto the bridge and then stated that I should walk a few minutes. I had promised myself to walk early and try to follow the Galloway technique of an alternating runs and walks. Since my left side is weak and runs out of gas after a few minutes, I have found the walk breaks give me time to recharge my battery on my left side. While I appear like I have normal strength on each side, I have found that my left side can perform repetitive movements for only so long and the muscles will tire and begin to not perform. Walking gives my muscles a chance to rest and recharge which allows me to jog again. The months of running a track and planting my left foot on the white line to run a straight course would be tested today. We wished each other luck and went our seperate ways-although moving in the same direction but at different speeds. I watched her disappear into the crowd while I made my way to the side of the bridge and marveled at the city scape.

I had labeled the back of my shirt with the statement "I am not a plodder! I am a stroke survivor." and it did not take long for the first person of many runners during the day to say " Great statement and good luck". They had seen the NY Times article about slow runners in a marathon and supported the fact that we all deserve medals no matter how long it takes! These conversations only invigorated me as well as the crowd support along the way. When we came off the bridge, I was impressed how many people were still on the sidewalks cheering us all on at the back of the pack! The elite runners had already passed this spot nearly an hour ago. This crowd support only grew throughout the day and the energy from the crowd was so uplifting to a weary runner as the day wore on. I saw a sign "Go Kate" and immediatel jogged over and thanked theses strangers who obviously were supporting another runner. However, we adopted each other during the day as I saw them along the route. I had a smile on my face as I relished in the fact that I was actually participating in this event and kept my smile on throughout the day. In fact, at times I thought some people may wonder why this middle aged women has this big smile on her face and I knew it was too difficult to explain. I was feeling pretty confident and good at this point and walked around mile 2 and then as I went through the support stations. I met David at about 4.5 miles and again at about 7 -8 miles and had stopped at a few porta-potties which was to be a common theme for the day! Oh, the bladder control of a 49 year old mom! Oh well....

Queens

I continued to feel good as I jogged/walked this route. I realized that I was probably a bit in shock about being here  and was cautious to assure that I did not push it to much. I made sure that I tossed in some walking but it was difficult with all the excitement. The neighborhood folks were out in force and providing a feeling of energy to all of the runners. I was clearly in the back of the pack but working my way past other walkers and runners. Dont get me wrong as many went flying past me too! I noticed some orange bibs around me and realized that I was working my way into a pack that was partly from my green wave and partly made up of runners from the orange wave that had started in front me. So I knew that I must be keeping a decent pace although when I glanced back, I saw the dreaded sweeper truck! I had last seen David at about 7 miles and he informed me that my next supporter had her train delayed so that I likely would not see anyone until close to the Queensboro bridge. He also assured me that thousands of runners were behind me and ignore the sweeper truck! The running field had thinned and water stations were easy to access as well as the porta-potty which allowed me opportunity to drink and make a pit stop as frequently as needed! I made sure I drank about 4 ounces of gatorade at each stop and kept hydrated. The bands were playing on each street corner and people were on balconies, fire escapes, and along the route cheering us all on! I had settled into a group of fast walkers and alternating walk/runners. I would jog and pass several of them. Then when I walked, these folks would pass by me. I met a chef  and his running mate. They had "Vino and Pasta" printed on their purple shirts and we supported each other over the course of about a 20 mile stretch going back and forth past each other. Two speed walkers kept close by too. I wish I had asked the chef where he worked as the vino and pasta sounded good when this would all be done!

We ran through the Orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Sunday is a work day and school day for this neighborhood and I appreciated their support of the marathon as I am sure we disrupted business. It was very quiet with no bands playing or the rowdy support along the way. It was a pleasant break in the frenzy of the marathon but I did miss the cheers of the crowd. But every once in awhile, I would catch the glimpse of a little school girl walking along the route and observe a small wave or smile to all of us. While not my first visit to this neighborhood, it provided a stark contrast to the other parts of the route and was quietly appreciated. I thought of our friend, Dr. Larry Resnick who had died from prostrate cancer and the wedding we had attended for this son in this neighborhood. I thought of  my friend in Portland recovering from a massive stroke and several friends battling cancer. It is for these folks I am doing this marathon for too. Just because I can run. This was a priviledge today and I understood that this was what it was all about. That's what kept me smiling. It was about this time in Portland that I knew my Thistle women's soccer team had begun their routine cheer before the start of our weekly soccer game and I am sure that I heard them yell "Go Kate" which they promised to do today! Again, another reason to smile! I always said hi to the folks around me and cheered on the few I passed.

We started over a roadway that seemed like a bridge but I knew it must be too soon to be the Queensboro bridge. And to my disappointment, I was correct! But we were passing 13.1 miles-we were half way there! It seemed like a long time to me to be out running today. I felt that it was longer than my training runs but I was running on pace and told myself just to focus. Could I really make it? The damn sweeper truck (it was really a bus and a police car) kept creeping by me and stopping for runners that were injured or needing support. While my watch was tracking the time, I had failed to get the GPS started at the beginning of my run and relied less on my own device but on the mile markers along the course. I assure myself that there must be several runners behind me and to just relax and enjoy the moment. It was easy to do. Except when I would think of "The Wall". Would I hit it?

My daughter Maggie and brother in-law Jack greeted me just before the bridge and we took photo's and chatted about the run. David appeared at this stop to the surprise of everyone as he quickly adapted to the use of the NY subway. I quickly got back into the pack and made my way to the Queensboro bridge which I had read in a book was a climb. They gave me an energy bar and I chomped it as I embarked on the next few miles.

Okay, now I am hurting. It was a long slow climb to the midpoint of the Queensboro bridge. I ran most of the way but decided to walk for part of it so that I could save my energy. I joined in conversation with a man from Washington DC but raised in Manhatten. He told me that the route today showed him parts of NY city that he had never visited in his entire life. He talked about stroke with me and I felt like I had educated one more person on the prevention and effects of stroke. This was the point of participating and so far I had talked to several runners. I took about 5 minutes struggling with my IPhone to start up some music as I felt a need to plug in as we had no crowd or music support on the bridge. I played Annie Lenox as I started my journey into Manhatten. I know it is not the most uplifting music but her music is always thought provoking to me. I encountered many fellow athletes with disabilities that made the bridge a challenge and was humbled by their tenacity to participate in such a physical challenge as this marathon.The roar of the crowd at this late time was not evident coming off the bridge but my hips were screaming with pain so I tried to tune it out with the music and the hope that all these folks that had such physical disabilities would meet their goals. There were amputees with metal running legs, amputees in regular wheelchairs pushing themselves backwards up the hill, blind runners and runners with other physical and mental disabilities. Again, I wondered how the NY Times could run that plodder article only 2 weeks before the marathon. Where was this writer and the coach that stated "how low will we lower the bar  for entries" to allow any particpant into the race? Perhaps they should have witnessed these incrediable athletes before making such statements as these folks were the true maratoners of the day and their marathon is a lifetime not just today. It is not about winning but about participating.

As I turned onto the avenue after coming off the bridge, I did begin to feel the energy of the Manhatten crowd that was lined along the street overflowing from bars and restaurants. Tom and Carmen Bittner were there to cheer me and I jogged over again for a photo opportunity and chat about the day.  Within the next few miles, I encountered my sister in-law Betty and my son Matt. The held a sign "GO KATE GO! which was inspiring as I continued my journey straight ahead to the Bronx. I felt pretty good and alternated  running with walking. I tried to focus on the next mile marker and take it one mile at a time. At about mile 18, I spotted the National Stroke Association members and welcomed their cheering. It was a long & slow journey up this street but the crowd literally propelled you along. Jack and Maggie missed me as they made a hamburger stop at a "White Castle" only to see me go by from behind the window. Tom and Carmen did not make it to the next stop before I went by it either. They all said that I had sped up but I don't think so! Either way, it was fine and I enjoyed hearing these stories from the suppport team later in the evening. Thus, I ran along listening to my music and wondering if I would hit the wall at 20 miles. Needless to say, I was quite entertained as I made a stop at every mile to drink and urinate! It was getting a bit chilly and I became more worried about my electolytes and the thought of something happening to me medically. Was this really worth it? Should a stroke survivor really be testing their physical limits? But I do not want to live like I am dying! I want to live my life fully. But what would happen as I went past 20 miles??

The Bronx

The passage into the Bronx was over a small bridge and our time spent in the Bronx was too short. A volunteer handed me 3 ballons to carry and I bounced along for about 3/4 of a mile with them but decided the drag from the balloons was bringing me to a crawl! As I turned the next corner, I handed the balloons to a mom and her toddler and thanked them for supporting all of us. As I rounded this corner, I saw Share and her daughter Noelle who were out there yelling at the top of their lungs! Wow, I was so fortunate to have all these folks here and they encouraged me to keep going. Tom and Carmen had travelled from Portland. Jack and Betty from their home in New Jersey and Share & Noel from their homes in New York. As I crossed over the bridge(the last bridge of 5!) into Manhatten I looked both ways along the river and soaked in the feeling of the day. The sun was low in the sky and it was a beautiful Fall day with boats gliding along the river and the leaves vibrant with the colors of Fall.  I truely was enjoying the moment and trying to forget the pain.

Harlem to Central Park

I have been through Harlem in taxi's but never on foot like today. As throughout the day, the marathon provided an opportunity to see NY without the distraction of cars. It was great to see the faces of crowd and it seemed they all were enjoying the festivities of the day. Parts of this neighborhood are very poor and the drab public housing looms above you. But there is a positive energy on the street and the crowd welcomed us with open arms. As you approach the outskirts of the district closer to uptown, you can see urban renewal projects and a community revitalized. I only hope that there will be resources for all of the community.

At mile 22, I met Betty, Matt and David. As I stepped away from them, I thought that I may actually finish this marathon! Instead of feeling weary, I became energized and started to run faster. It had become chilly and I had been warned of this uphill climb back into town but I was pumped and ready to take anything on. David handed me a jacket which tied around my waste but I never needed it during the last stretch. In fact, about  a half mile later it had fallen to the ground and I was lucky not to go tripping over it! I stopped and chuckled as I tried to get myself untwisted from it. Mile 23; another break and time to stretch. The neck and shoulders were tiring so I had a nice stretch only to look up and see Jack and Maggie on the side of the road. I think they thought I was looking for help from above! Again, another boost of energy and I started running faster than ever!

Everyone was out along the Upper East side of the park and the lovely condo's that line the Upper Eastside overflowed with occupants out for a stroll and to cheer the marathoners. I passed the Frenchman runner in the Eiffel Tower outfit  and continued along this slight incline of the route. It was evident that many runners had hit the wall and they were barely walking. However, I continued to feel good and took the opportunity to try and keep on pace.

Soon I was rounding the corner into Central Park. I mentally prepared for the difficult  rolling hills but it did not come as much of a challenge. Carmen and Tom were there to cheer me on. I was hot and sweaty and a bit concerned about hydration but I knew I only had about 2 miles to go! Soon I passed the marker that read only 1 mile left. I knew now that I would make it. Thoughts ran through my mind about my job, how would I take this experience and assure I used my resources to improve stroke education, and how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family and friends! I rounded the corner onto 59th street and exited the Park. Past the Plaza hotel to the shouts of the crowds along the way. I saw David at about mile 25.5 but did not stop to talk-I had to keep moving! I was in a race to the end!

The Finish

I looked ahead to Columbus Circle and saw the entry back into the park. As I rounded the corner, I kept looking for the finish line. Soon signs appeared that marked off 400 meters, 200 meters and the end. I looked ahead and tried to run faster. I had tears steaming down my face and was very emotional. I tried to gain my composure and was successful! So many emotions and miles behind me-was this really the end. I sprinted towards the finish line and glanced into the stands to see if I could recognize anyone but did not. The woman in front of me crossed the finish line with arms in the air and I did the same as I came across it. We were done! But it really is only the beginning for me.

I moved forward through the weary volunteers and got my medal, picture, blanket, water and sandwhich. We were all channeled through a walkway lined on the left by UPS trucks and a tarp on the right hand side. It was so late that the crowd was thin and I was able to get my belongings without any wait. I had to walk to 77th street before I could exit and coordinated meeting with my family and friends via cell phone. As I approached 77th street, I was greeted by Carmen and Tom. I shed a few tears and we laughed with some relief that it was over! Carmen has been walking and jogging with me from a few weeks post stroke as we took our first stroll around a block. As we ventured down Central Park West, we were soon greeted by all the family and it was a joyous moment to see everyone. It was over but in some ways it was just the beginning to me. What an experience and what a humbling journey along the road of life.

The journey back to the hotel was as normal a family affair as any evening. We joked and argued over what subway to take-typical McCarron style. I found myself feeling ill on the subway which was a concern and I just wanted to get back to the hotel .We grabbed a bicycle Rickshaw to cover the last few blocks as I was starting to feel very ill and did not want to get sick on the street. But in an hour with fluids and some snacks, I was feeling good enough to venture out to celebrate. Although, if we do this again, I think we will order Pizza in! But we had made this journey together and it was time to celebrate. We had a fun dinner at Il Vagabondo which is a restaurant that I picked as we went there when Matt was little. I did take a moment to look in my fanny pack to assure I had the medals my mother had given to me for the journey. Sure enough, I had them safely in my belt pocket and so I was able to have her with me the entire 26.2 miles.  Before the race, I had opened a small package that she had give to me for race day. It contained a short note and a request to carry these medals with me so I would be protected me along the way and a part of her would be with me. A quick phone call was made to her to assure her that  daughter and medals were safe and the marathon was complete. I could not have acheived this journey without the support of family and friends and a thank you is due to each and every one of you! And I hope my National Stroke Association team had a successful day too. It is so surreal to me even today and I am missing my long run this weekend...well, just for a moment! I am just starting to realize that this marathon was just part of a journey that is never ending and life has so much to offer. The moment I had around mile 24-25 when I felt stroke free and was my old self was worth every minute! And I know my brain has registered that moment and I have the ability to improve my mobility! And I know I have a responsibility to assure other stroke survivors have the resources available to assure they have the best care possible. Thank you INGNYCMarathon for lowering the bar low enough for we can all participate!

Surreal still 4 days after marathon

Yes, I did finish! I have started to blog my experience several times but all I can write is 'Surreal". I have been busy caught up in returning to Portland, business in NY and responding to so many supportive emails. I can not say thank you enough to everyone! My aim is to catch up on the marathon day and share some stories so you can all share in the event. And hopefully, I can convince a few folks to join me next year. For one moment at mile 24 I felt as though I was running stroke free and it made it all worth it!

Pre-Race Day!!!!

Okay, no turning back now. Despite terrible hip pain, I am going to try this marathon! I feel like I have entered into a new world. The excitement in the city is noticable and 42,000 marathon runners are on the streets! Slept in today until about 10am and went for a 2 mile jog with Carmen who has been my running partner throughout this training. I feel like I needed to test the leg and it did hurt but got a little bit better as we proceeded along our route. We jogged up to Central Park and back to the hotel hoping to see a glimpse of the finish area. It all seem daunting to me and I tried not to think about it!

When I sawJustin Whittiker today, I knew I was in another world when I entered the Hilton. This is the headquarter hotel for the marathon and it was full of short, sleek people! The bronze medal winner for the 10,000 meter walked into the room while Justin was working on my hip. She chatted away that she was not running the marathon but would be "studying it" which prompted me to ask why? She had as assignment to watch the Elite runners and how they performed in parts of the course.???? I guess they want to rate the course or something! Anyhow, as I was leaving I ran into Ryan Hall who is in contention to win the marathon. As a middle age stroke survivor I was actually beginning to see myself as part of this whole marathon experience! But first I needed to just be able to walk!

By mid afternoon, I had not eaten a decent meal so I met Matt on 5th Avenue and we had lunch at the Armani Cafe. David had told us it was casual but as we arrived on the 3rd floor to a swanky room of black and grey decor, I stood out like a sore thumb in my running attire. As Matt looked at me, he said "Well, at least you are wearing the right colors".  Anyhow had my fill of rosotto and felt I had crossed one more task off the pre-race day of hydrate, eat, see doctor, etc! The next thing I knew it was time to meet my National Stroke Association team members at restaurant Sambuca.

It was exciting to connect with some other stroke survivors but it was not really the time or place to connect except for the marathon. We had a lovely dinner and chatted with a gentleman who had run some 25 plus marathons. Thus, we got some tips and he alleviated nagging fears of no water at stations, etc. It was the National Stroke Association inagural event at the marathon and I think it has potential to be quite a fundraiser for the organization in the future. I think our group raised nearly $100,000.00 which is impressive to me.

Now it is pre-race evening. Sorting through the clothing, fuel, phone and watch. Fumbled with the electronic tracking device for my shoe but discovered by going online for more information that the piece that I was missing was an optional piece that may or may not be included! The print instructions did not state that it was optional! Wondering if the old hip will hold up tomorrow. What happens when I hit 20 miles and have to go another 6.2! Will I hydrate well enough? What if I don't make it-how will I feel. Yeah, I know it is unbelievable to be here but my competitive side wants to finish too! I have worked so hard to get here. Although, I must admit that I never thought that I would feel so tired and well fed! But I know that I am stronger and I really do want to finish.

I think the stress of this situation and the anxiety of family members around me have not brought out the best in any of us. It will be good to be done and be home. It has been a long journey and now with it so close, I am ready!

Hoping for a good nights sleep. My brother and sister in law have arrived, Tom and Carmen Bittner are here to support and Share Van Dervort is here to support. I cannot thank them all enough! David and the kids have organized spots along the route for support but it is going to be hard to find them. Although, I am sure that by the end of the marathon that I will be easy to spot as the mob will have cleared away. Here is hoping for a dry morning!

New York-2 days out to marathon

Wow, I am really here! Gotta race over to the Expo center to pick up a cheap rainsuit-forgot to get one yesterday! And rain is in the forcast!

Met Grete Waitz yesterday and got her autograph. Two months ago if you asked me who she was as an athlete I would have not even known of her! But now, as an official marathoner, I am in the know! The nice guy at the Asics booth let me into the last spot in the line. Actually, the line had closed but I just started talking to him about the free sports bar I had just picked up at another booth. I had no idea the line had closed until he told the next person. I thought to myself that this is a good omen for the marathon!

Had to walk about 45 minutes to the expo center and by the time I got home, my right hip was screaming! I thought a short workout would help but it just made it worse. Sleepless night with the pain and will seek our Justin Whittiker who is here working with the elite athletes. Family arrived in the middle of the night and need to balance time with them and getting ready for this marathon. Currently, just want to be able to walk pain free.

Read some blogs that water stations start folding up after the main group of runners come through the stations. Tried to talk the race organizers into an earlier start time but had no luck. The look on the race organizer staff's face was priceless when I explained that I had a stroke and need to assure that I have access to gatorade and water! I think he thought that I had just had a stroke since signing up for the race! He assured me that the neighborhood folks stay out and make sure everyone is supported. Thanks but not really what I wanted to hear. So, I will packing lots of gatorade with me!

After finishing the book "A Race Like no Other" on the flight to New York, I am very excited and scared to death. After reading it, I am so excited to meet the "neighbors", listen to the bands and likely create some friendships with other runners. I am trying to connect with a 6:00 hour informal pace group but they do start ahead of me so not sure how that will work.

The book has brought the reality of the difficult moments of the race. Especially, after leaving the Bronx and heading uphill back into Manhatten. And I know how deceptive Central Park can be to runners. It has lots of hills that have you going up and down.  And an uphill at the finish...ughh! But I just hope I make it there to even try attempting a finish. I should have asked Gatorade for a sponsorship as I talk and dream about it non-stop! And Jay Harris at ESPN, I hope you are reading this. Remember you told me to contact you and I need that coverage for stroke prevention and women! Off to find a fabric marker for my shirt!

Gotta go...family up and moving at 2pm!

Katie

So Close, So Far

Oh my gosh the big day is almost here! Packing my bag and checking it twice! My running gear outnumbers my other items 10-1! Cliff bars, Gu, rain poncho, old clothes for the cold wait at the start....wow, so much for simply packing the shoes, shorts and top! And my wonderful good luck socks sent from Barbara in Chicago. I hope they will give me her speed when I wear them!

Marathon week so far has been a whirlwind. Busy at work and obligations outside of work stirring up a lot of emotions and fueling my desire to assure time spent each day is on the right things. Monday night had me hosting a table at the National Kidney Foundation "Champions of Hope"award for Dr. George Porter, former Department Chair at OHSU. You see, George has a brain tumor and is battling for his life. He courageously has taken on this battle and his collegues and friends gathered to celebrate his life and provide continued support for his fight against cancer. Colleagues who I had not seen in 15 years greeted me and it was great to see old familiar faces. As we mingled, several collegues wished me well on my marathon endeavor. It was clear they think I am running it at some average time and it was not worth trying to explain that I am not doing this for pleasure but rather another step toward continued rehab from this life changing event called a stroke.  I did have one glass of wine over the course of the evening but was monitoring my intake of all food and beverage as a marathoner does during the last week before the big race!

Carmen and I did take a 3.5 run around Fairmont loop in the pouring rain. I remarked to her that if it was not for the marathon, we would not be out in this horrble weather! We laughed and continued along our journey...it has be quite a long one and we were near the end!

Tuesday was another full day of activities after another restless night of sleep. So much to get done before leaving for New York . Running did make the list of tasks for the day. Official day off. Instead spent the day at work and handling last minutete fundraising activities. Delivered fundraising letters to neighboring businesses, set several emails and letters as a last minute pitch. Spoke to a reporter at the local paper about my experience with stroke and tried to explain my recovery, challenges and my hope for increased awareness, research and education about stroke. I know that I forgot so many things that we all face as stroke survivors. As an advocate and fortunate stroke survivor, I sometimes forget or perhaps mentally block the acute challenges in the first few months following stroke. It was the little things that became the big things. The inability to hug a child, shampoo your hair, button your clothes, tie a shoe...I wrestled last night thinking about how do you explain all these things!!! And the never ending fear that you may have a stroke at 2 -3 times a higher rate than others after your first stroke. And the isolation. As a younger stroke survivor you face different challenges than an older person. I had a job, childcare duties, caregive duties to an elderly mom, soccer, etc. that I wanted to be able to do. I desperately wished to connect with another mom facing these challenges. Either we are few (not according to the statistics) or we have re-entered the main stream of life without support from others like us. It may just be me that would benefit from this extended contact with other's facing similiar challenges but I don't think that is true. Let me know if you feel the same way if you find your way to this blog  I look forward to connecting with the stroke survivors on the National Stroke Association team and I know we will find support in each other. Together we can make a difference and it is hope to form an army of other stroke survivors to tell others of the challenges and how our rehabilitaton and support services could improve for not only stroke survivors but their families too.

Off to my last Portland run! Hydrate, hydrate,  hydrate is my mantra today. On my way to the big Apple in a few hours too! Watch out world...here we come! Not the plodders just the stroke survivors!

Katie

Sunday October 25th-Weekend update

In less than a week, I may have completed the New York Marathon! The New York Times article of last Friday was a blow to us that are just trying to complete the marathon in whatever time it does take us. However, I feel it has energized me too. It was poor judgement on the part of then NY Times to run this article before the marathon and it has been interesting to read all the comments. I think the majority of readers did not like the tone of the article and believe whether you walk, jog or run the 26.2 miles that you are marathoner! I am no plodder!

Today started off with a 3.5 mile run. It rained so hard for the entire run that my clothes and shoes were just soaked. Luckily it was quite warm but the downpours in Portland today resulted in 12,000 flooding calls into the city. Leaves clogging drains created the major problems and we certainly encountered many flooded ditches and leaves in our path today. I hope we do not have rain during the NYC marathon.

Feeling exhausted between work, remodel,  a National Kidney Foundation dinner and corraling two teenagers into bed! Thinking of postponing my early departure on Weds to NY and try and get some sleep. My son Matt is feeling sick and quite frankly, I don't feel great either! Oh no, I hope I am not getting sick so close to the marathon. Off to bed....goodnight!

8 Days, 19 Hours, 17 Min, 30 Seconds

Every time I go to the website, the countdown is at the top of the page informing me how much time is left until ING NY marathon! I am getting excited and worried(that is my nature) to the entire logistics of this upcoming task. Am I really ready for it? Three marathoner runners died last weekend; should I really be doing this as a stroke survivor? How will I really know that I am keeping my electrolytes in check? Oh , that ugly monster of fear has raised it's ugly head! Okay, I think "Time to calm down, stick to my training plan and be prepared." I watch the NY video of the marathon online and have competing thoughts. My right mind perceives the run as fun, carefree and my left mind wants details, details and more details not letting go until it has all the facts! I must find balance and peace to enjoy this journey.

I went for my 3.5 tapering run this am and was disappointed to walk. I just did not have the energy or desire to endure the nagging pain in my right hip. I decided to listen to my right side that is taking most of the wear and tear as it is the stronger side. But I could not let the moment pass without lecturing my left leg to get with the program! Needless to say, I kept this conversation to myself! At times I did stop and remember how far that I have come since the stroke and that I am running for those that can not run....what a privilege!! And as I think those thoughts and simple let myself be grateful to be alive, I become much more at peace. Needless to say, the road traveled becomes easier too!

I have made an appointment for late today to see Justin Whitaker to hopefully use his expert techniques to provide some relief to my right hip. I was disappointed as I was to see Andrea Serder at OHSU to plan out our next program for our repetitive task training which I will undertake after the marathon. It is hoped with some concentrated efforts and strength building that I will gain some better use of my left leg. It certainly was helpful for my hand and I believe it will help my gait improve. But for now and 26.2 miles in 8 days, I will work with what I have achieved to date and try to be grateful. I am so lucky and have so much gratitude for those in the world that have helped me along this every changing journey. I will have you all with me next weekend.

Katie

11 days and counting

Just went for a 3.5 mile run with my dear friend Carmen. Carmen has been at my side since my first walks around the block after my stroke to these recent NY marathon http://ingnymarathon.com training runs. We walked about 1 minute for every 5-8 minutes we jogged tonight and it seemed fine. The relief of not having to think about a long run this weekend is so wonderful! But these mid week runs have been a struggle for me. Either I am not recovering fast enough or I just don't get mentally prepared for them. I am hoping this 3 week taper process works and I have the energy on marathon day!

I have logged onto NYRR and read all the race day tips. I may need a few more items but feel fairly prepared for this adventure and anxious to meet my National Stroke Association running mates. I am focusing on thinking about getting more sleep, eating for fuel and enjoying this moment. And I am confident that awareness will be raised about stroke, one step at a time! I am so lucky to be a part of it.

Cheers-

Katie

Green Wave for a farewell to a Green Top

Lucky me...I just got my NY Marathon registration form stating; Start time 10:40am (Last wave-right in front of the sweeper truck!), Corral #63(just like a cattle herd) and assigned to the Green wave(bottom deck of the bridge). Now, if you have been a neurotic obsessed first time marathoner like me than you know what all this means as you have read every blog, discussion board, etc. about this marathon. In case you don't, it means I got into the last wave start of the marathon which has the Elite runners starting at 9:40am. It also means I am on the lower deck where the possibility of someone urinating on me is nearly 100%! Yep, states on the NYRR discussion board that pee is a major issue on the lower deck. Seems those runners on the top deck just have to go and do so right over those of us on the lower deck! And if the wind is blowing, we are really in trouble as a mist could form across the lower deck! Okay, that is me exaggerating but I bet it is true! Most posts suggest wearing a garbage bag if you are on the lower deck and trying to huddle into the middle section to avoid being by a side. I can't wait!

I read that it can get quite chilly on the bridge too. The race instructions state you should try and discard any heavy clothing you don't want before going to the start so it can be given to charity. But between the cold and need to cover from my fellow urinating upper deck marathoners, I needed another plan! Last night I reached into my Goodwill bag I had ready for a donation and pulled out a bright green pullover. It had been an emotional parting with it a few days earlier as I tossed it to the Goodwill bin but I was ready. It was one of the first tops I bought post stroke. See, no one really warns you that you may have difficulty dressing when you get home from a stroke. They do tell you about this challenge but until you are alone trying to dress, you don't really get it. No longer could I button my tops work or zip my jeans! I distinctly remember going to the store with my husband and 11 year old daughter and splurging on new "stretch athletic wear" that I lived in for the next several months. It did give me independence at the time but it this green top had become such a reminder of those days. Anyhow, as I looked at it crumbled in the bag last night, I thought what a perfect send off for it as I embark on my marathon. Thus, it will travel with me to the NY Marathon and keep me warm while on the bridge and I will ceremoniously toss it to the wind as I set sail across the start of my 26.2 mile journey! While it won't go directly to charity, I think that it will land where someone will fine a good use for it.

I should mention my training run yesterday. Only 3.5 miles at a steady pace. As I reflect back several months it is quite astonishing training run as I could not go that far without stopping in June 2009! Time to toss the top and move on! Good luck training to all my fellow National Stroke Association team members. Look for me in the old green top in the Green wave running with the garbage bag around my body! Wishing you an orange or blue start time!

Kate

Blink!

Wow, it is less than two weeks until the marathon! It is as if blinked and my training schedule has disappeared! My weekend run was squeezed into early Saturday morning before many actvities. I had 15 miles on my training schedule but completed 12.5 as time was an issue and everyone keeps telling me that "the hay is in the barn" and so I backed off! I actually felt pretty good and enjoyed the fact that I did not have to do this route ever again!!! I tried to concentrate on the beautiful Fall colors but I admit that my mind kept wandering to the thought "I just have 5 more miles to go.., 3 miles to go, etc !" It stayed dry for the most part of my outing and the sun shined for portions of the first 2 hours. However, the sky darkened when I was half way done with my last 3.5 mile loop and thunder and lightning hit. Since, I was in the middle of the loop it was the same distance back to the car either way. So I moved for shelter and tried to pick up some speed. I am not a big fan of lightening as I lost a relative when she was hit by a bolt and I know to get out of it as quickly as possible.

I was unscathed by the storm but my IPhone had not survived as well. My IPhone was frozen and I was unable to play songs or make a phone call. It was quite amazing how the adrenaline helped me pick up my speed in the last 2 miles and I finished that loop faster than my previous times. I know the power of mother nature and I was not comfortable playing this game. While it was good to see that I still had energy to run, it was not very enjoyable.

But the run was completed in a pace just a bit faster than the NY Marathon sweeper truck pace -thus I felt good! Then off to help clean a yard of a family that is struggling against cancer and needs some help. At these moments, I know that I am so lucky to be able to train for such an event. In a blink of a moment how life can change for all of us.

Katie

Zapped of Energy

It is Friday, October 16th and while it is my scheduled day off, I will be going for a short run as I missed yesterday. A 10 hour day at the office with a visit to mom after work kinda killed my energy to go out for a jog. Our household is fighting our round of the H1N1 virus, or at least that sounds cool! Quite frankly, we all have been hit with numerous bugs this Fall. Thus, the energy has been low lately.

Energy. It is such an important word in the life of an athlete but it becomes a monumental obstacle in the life of a stroke survivor. I recall at one of my first stroke support meetings that everyone seemed to be talking about their loss of energy-even many years later. One gentleman, a teacher explained that he had to quit his full time job teaching. Three years post - stroke he explained that he no longer tries to explain his fatigue to anyone as he looks normal and no one really understands. So he keeps his thoughts to himself only finding refuge in this safe environment to share with others who might understand. It is a common problem and while at first when I heard his comments even I did not think I would feel that way once I completed my rehabilitation. Then reality hit. Just ask my kids! I found myself taking naps late in the day to make it through the evening activities. I become angry and quite short with my temperament by the evening if I did not rest. If I was at work, all my energy was zapped from spending the day physically and mentally using my brain that was recovering. Now, three years post stroke, I can sympathize and relate to my school teacher friend. Granted, my family lives full days but I can not keep up without a cost anymore. And it is a loss. If I walk or jog to long, I have physical indicators to help remind me. But when you are thinking, processing, and just living a daily life, you sometimes forget how quickly you fatigue. I can no longer go for a 6am run -I must sleep longer. I can't wait to run at the end of the day as I just have no energy but sometimes I must and it becomes a struggle. This limitation of times to exercise does not work well with a work schedule so on the mornings that I run, I tend to work for an hour and then go out for my training before heading to the office. If I talk to much( yeah, hard to imagine for those that know me), my left side of my face begins to tire and I must concentrate on fully pronouncing words. I think it is this intense concentration as you compensate to push your body and mind that results in such exhaustion. It is a hidden disability in which many stroke survivors tend to blame themselves and wonder why they can not push through it. No one likes to whine about being tired especially when you look pretty normal(whatever normal is!). It is easier if you can accept it and I must say I do struggle with the notion of acceptance. But it clearly is a fight I can not win but I can push envelope by running a marathon for instance. When I do listen to my body and mind and respect how much I have recovered from stroke, I take deep breath and take a nap! So, don't be surprised if jump on the "sweeper truck" and take a break trying to complete 26.2 miles-it just may be the right thing to do! On the other hand, don't hesitate to reach out and help me along as I can do it and I really don't want that sweeper truck to pass me! I will be the slow one from Oregon with the slight limp but with a smile on my face as I bask in the glory of attemping this feat!

Weather is warm and cloudy here in PDX. Only 16 days until the Marathon! I must get some sleep......

Happy running!

Tin Foil

Okay, I am starting to get nervous! Last night I got an email to wrap myself in tin foil to keep warm and wear lots of old clothes to throw away when standing on the bridge at the start line of the NY Marathon. The next email stated "Make sure you have on a garbage bag" if you are on the lower deck of the bridge as other runners urinate off the top deck.....is this New York or what? I laughed out loud reading these tips but then it sunk it that they are serious!

I have been placed in the last wave of the start. That means that I will not start until 10:20am which has me starting 40 minutes later than the Elite runners. Wonder if I can catch them...could be a good goal! My National Stroke Association team is starting to chat a bit through email and on Facebook as we share our start times and tips on the logistics of the marathon. I still trip over the word "run" as I don't really feel like I am running. Slogging is my term-slow jogging and some walking will be my method. I just don't want to pass out like a did a few weeks ago. Electrolytes is my focus! Banana's are a good investment as I am eating a ton along with milk! I can tolerate Gatorade and thus we have had many trips to Costco to load up on orange, yellow and red Gatorade's...they all taste the same to me anyhow! Did not try the Gu but used the Gu Chews and Powerbars.

Everyone tells me the thrill of the marathon and marathon day will be so much easier than these 20 mile runs. I am not sure I am convinced that is true. But I am counting on it so I hope you have told me the truth!!! I hear that over 100 bands will be playing and it is a big party. The most important goal is being there! As my brother in law stated "Who would have thunk it?"- I think I will put that on my shirt along with all the other good wishes from folks. Gotta go...must run 3.5 today. It is not raining so it should be a nice outing.

Tapering!

Wow, I am finally to the tapering stage for the NY Marathon! Now, I only have 15 miles to look forward to this weekend! It has been a struggle to get here. No sugar coating the devotion it takes to participate in marathon training. I still do not feel ready. And I did not get that svelte body of my fellow friends who run marathons! I still have my "jelly belly" as my kids call it but I do have some mean looking calf's! In fact, they are so big I saved $120 on Hunter boots as I could not get them over my calf!

I am still the same ol' me...BUT I am much happier for it. I have discovered beautiful areas of Portland on my new walk/jogs and found an inner strength that despite my inability to move quickly that I can move slowly and still relish in the accomplishment. After my collapse of the last 20 mile outing, I quickly made a trip to the best bookstore in the world, Powell's and grabbed a used edition of one of the Galloway training books. I quickly jumped on board his method of running only 2 mid-week runs and adapted his method of incorporating walking into my long runs. I cautiously tested this method on my 12 mile run and completed my outing about 15 minutes faster. I still felt tired and beat to a pulp but it was better. Then the next weekend presented the last 20 mile outing. I decided to jog 5 minutes and walk 1 minute. To my pleasant surprise, I completed my training 20 minutes fast than the last time! In addition, I was still standing and really did not feel to bad until about 18 miles. The mid week outings are the tough times.

I am seeing a great therapist for my hip pain and gait. Dr. Justin Whittker is trained in Active Release Techniques and has very helped this 49 year old get through her training. I am sure I must bring some amusement to him as I listen to him tell me how he is helping at the NY Marathon and working with some of the top athletes. I listen to how some of the men athletes complete 13 miles in just one hour and how fast they hope to do the marathon. I figure they will be crossing the finish line as I am embarking on about my 6th mile! I hope they will circle back and join me to pace my next 20.2 miles! I just realized he must get to work in one of those warm tents they have for the elite athletes...hmmmm. As I hear, the worst part of the marathon is waiting at the start for 2-3 hours in the cold. I certainly hope we get blessed with some nice temperatures.

Got my shoes, socks, new insoles and checking in one more time with a foot specialist to see if we can eliminate some of the pressure on my right foot. It definitely is my gait and my right leg is just so much stronger than my left. At this point, with only 2.5 weeks to go, I think I will just go for it. I have raised over $4,000 to date and would obviously like to raise more. I wish I had more time to fund raise but I do have a job, kids and remodeling our house! I think my 86 year old mother is in need of her daughter back. Soon I keep telling everyone!

No run today....it just makes me so happy to know I don't have to go out! Happy training

5 weeks and counting!

This is my first post! I stated that I would write a blog on this journey to complete a marathon but it has proved to be a challenge due to time. I am participating with the National Stroke Association Marathon team in the New York Marathon on November 1, 2009 to help raise awareness. I have successfully raised over $3000.00 thanks to many generous donors on my way to my goal of $5000.00. If you would like to contribute to my endeavor to raise awareness about stroke, please visit my fundraising page at www.firstgiving/katemccarron.com and help me spread the word. It is not about the amount of donation but signing

I am proud to say I completed my 2nd 20 mile slow jog(slog) in Portland, Oregon and conquered what many fear after a stroke...wondering if you will have another one! It was a beautiful fall day with the temperature reaching near 80 degrees yesterday and I contemplated whether I should even go out. I had been suffering from a low grade virus and dental complications this week but decided to venture out about 10am. It was a much later start than I had anticipated but I slept in. My body that was telling me to get some extra rest but I probably needed to listen to it more.

In the past, I have stuck to a route that I am familiar with as I am most comfortable knowing the layout of the surface as my gait is not normal and I feel more assured if I am not to far from home. As a stroke survivor, I still have fear of a sneak attack of another stroke. While my risk of a 2nd stroke diminished after 2 years post stroke, I can not erase that my risk is higher than others and participating in an endurance physical activity such as preparing for a marathon does scare me. But it does not stop me...usually. I had run both my 18 miler and 20 miler around a 3.5 mile loop close to home and was getting extremely bored. Plus, I was getting slower which I thought may be part of the boredom. In fact my pace is close to the NY Sweeper truck at the end of the marathon so I knew I had to try something new!! But this meant setting off into new territory. I set off on foot yesterday to conquer the running loop around the Williamette river in downtown Portland. First, I had the thrill of running downhill for almost 2 miles from my home but it only lasted a short time as I struggled to keep my left foot headed forward as the tone in my left leg wanted to swing my foot inward. Once I slowed down and told myself to focus on each step instead of the view overlooking Portland, I managed to get into a rythem. I think the mental attention that is required by stroke survivors to perform simple tasks adds a level of exhaustion that no one appreciates.

It was so much fun to work my way through Portland State University and see so many people shopping at the Farmers Market. I then followed the route around the downtown Portland Waterfront making my way through walkers, bikers, runners and the Saturday Market crowd. I crossed the Steel bridge on the Williamette river and continued past OMSI to join the Springwater route south to the Sellwood bridge and back through Williamette Park. I had to complete one more loop around the Portland waterfront and go back out about 2 miles on the Springwater route to make the 20 mile goal. I finally finished my route by crossing back over the Hawthorne bridge and finishing in front of the Marriott hotel. The new environment and being around other people enjoying a beautiful Fall day inspired me as I struggled with the last 7 miles. I had to walk quite a bit of those last miles despite having tossed some walking spurts into my early part of the run. Despite my husband biking close by and providing drinks along the way, the past week of not feeling great really depleted my energy. And we soon found out, I was quite volume depleted. As we rode home in the car, I got very dizzy and luckily David was with me to get my seat back, nurse some fluids into me and assure me that my heart was beating fine and no, I was not going to have a stroke. As a doctor, friend and husband he knows how important it is for me to keep my hydration good and keep my electrolytes balanced. I had completed my previous long runs with no problems so this was a big surprise and quite frankly leaves me a bit shaken! I truly think I can do it but I want to complete 26.2 in a healthy way. This is a bit of a set back emotionally and physically but I will work on my nutrition and fluid intake as I continue this journey. And the thrill of completing 20 miles is so far beyond my expectations that I need to pinch myself! So much for just getting back to being a "functioning adult" in society as stated to me early in my Physical therapy. Stroke survivors have dreams and hopes that should be embraced as we do not know the full capabilities of the brain to heal. I may still not be able to perform all tasks normally and I struggle with controlling my emotions but I am capable of placing one foot and front of the other and completing a marathon. I will do this for me and for all others that are stroke survivors and can not join me but they will be with me in spirit as we continue along this journey of stroke education. I can't wait to meet my National Stroke Association team members as we prepare for our marathon on November 1. Today is a day of rest and relaxation! And I hope all stroke surivors, caregivers and friends will show up and cheer us on...we need your support!